what if the voice inside your head is your soulmate’s
okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl
female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.
so in conclusion
if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick
FUCK WHAT KIND OF POST IS THIS
Miss Piggy On Beauty
What are your top beauty tips?
Start out perfect and don’t change a thing. Always accentuate your best features by pointing at them. And conceal your flaws by sucker punching anyone who has the audacity to mention them.
Never too old to learn from the Muppets.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.” - Miss Piggy
— Charles Bukowski (via reflowr)
Good morning love
— John Green (via alnajars)
exams and term papers got you stressed out and run down? well just remember, no matter how poorly you do, and no matter how much better everyone else does, no one is getting a job when they graduate
my eyes are saying sleep but my mind is saying internet
I REALLY LIKE THIS URBAN LEGEND BEHIND THE WORD, "FUCK"
THAT SAID THAT IN THE MIDDLE AGES, DURING THE BLACK DEATH, RESOURCES WERE SCARCE SO COUPLES HAD TO OBTAIN ROYAL PERMISSION TO HAVE CHILDREN
SO THEY HAD TO PUT UP A SIGN ON THEIR HOUSE (VISIBLE ON THE ROAD) THAT SAID,
“FORNICATION UNDER CONSENT of KING”
AND THEIR ENTIRE STREET WOULD KNOW THEY’RE FUCKING
how come nobody got pregnant at hogwarts? i mean come on, surely there was some unprotected hanky panky going on there.
ahh, makes sense.